Problem Solved!

There are problems in the UK employment market; I don’t need to tell anyone that. There are also problems in the creative industry, especially for graduates getting their foot in the door. Perhaps we ought to forget our obsessions with equality, recruitment policies and all such obstacles that are in the way of getting the right person in the right job.

I found this ad in a 1968 issue of GRAPHIS magazine.

 No list of software to be fluent in, nothing ‘client-facing,’ no emerging technologies – not even the obligatory sense of humour required. No equal opportunities hogwash (and none needed) and no salary given. Refreshing isn’t it?

Can you imagine the brouhaha if this ad was placed today?

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for the recent opportunity to be interviewed for the position of Designer as advertised in the last issue of Graphis magazine, and your prompt notification of my failure to secure this post. There is, however, one issue that concerns me with regard to one of the criteria used in the selection process. Can it not be acceptable to be furnished with all of the required attributes and have a rather fetching manner of genius, brooding or otherwise?

Was I rated upon the aforementioned genius? If so, I demand that you reveal the scale on which this selection was decided upon. I made it quite clear on the Equal Opportunities Monitoring Questionnaire that I was of the Genius (Brooding, Mercurial or Aloof) persuasion and believe that if you were not fully paying proper attention when shortlisting, then that constitutes a serious breach of the Employment Recruitment Act (1985) which states that “persons should not be discriminated against on the grounds of race, sex, sexual orientation, age or creative temperament.”

You will, of course, be hearing from my solicitors (Messrs. Fingritt, Fawcett, Thrust & Co) and I will be selling my puerile story to any newspaper or low-brow magazine that will buy it.

Yours, etc.

Derek Twattermole,
Genius (Brooding)


Look Into My Eyes…

Isn’t modern technology wonderful? When you go for an eye test they take photographs of the inside of your eyes. THE INSIDES! I was so impressed by the detail I asked them for a digital copy. The image below is uploaded at full size – click on it and see inside of my left eye in all its glory!

Yes, I know that this isn’t design, typography, printing or any of my usual content. I just think it’s cool.

PS. I don’t want to give any optician any free publicity, but I will say that if you don’t go to this one, you should have…


Rising To The Challenge…

These job opportunities were recently advertised in my local paper – the Lynn News and may be a reflection of the governments new policies to improve care for the elderly.

This is not a spelling error; an institution as fine and respectable as this would not allow a simple lapse in concentration to sully its pages, nor miss the digressions of a mischievous intern. This is, good readers, a finely positioned hickey. A hickey is an error during the printing process which results in a white spot on the final printed piece. Printers can get very dusty because of the large amounts of paper being handled on a daily basis. If a small fleck of dust lands a piece of paper before it runs through the press, it prevents the ink from hitting the paper leaving a white spot. This type of hickey can show up on a very small number of printed pieces because the dust is constantly moving in the air. I have checked other copies of the newspaper and found them all to be as perfect as one has come to expect from this bastion of quality local news.

Imagine the kind of responses an ad like this would generate though? I’ll leave you with that thought!